Why I Left My Child When i was 15, i was raped. This resulted in the birth of my daughter. As someone who suffers from PTSD and BPD (both affecting my mental health) i could not cope with my daughter. My parents now look after my daughter. I see her tonnes, and she knows me as mum. It was the best choice for me and my daughter. I want her back when the time is right...which isnt now. I dont regret my decision, though i sometimes wish it were different. Angel918:13pm Sun 20 Jun
Rating 3.6
didnt watch the programme No one can ever truly comment unless they'v left their children.Its the hardest thing in the world tolive with,and I never saw it from a Dads perspective untill I experienced it.It can be soul destroying,even when your children bsck you up.If you spend your early years giving as a Mum,then its suddenly a diifferent world,its hard to find the recources to be a self sufficient Mother for them.So.They better in their family home,wiyh a Dad who can support them.Ya get there in the end. Proud Mum9:12pm Mon 19 Apr
mums leaving i am the step mum to 3 kids who were abandoned and mother to 4,of my own.. leaving scars the kids from a young age,i cannot begin to understand how u can leave ur kids,even if its a struggle with now 7... i missed the prog and cannot find where i can watch it,however my daughter did watch it and although abandoned was suprised how these woman have no regrets.....? mother earth10:29pm Tue 16 Mar
Hasn't got a clue how can this journalist have an objective view of a situation when (and I did only come in at the latter end of the prog) she apparently seems to have been someone who has had a middle class upbringing and a comfortable life has been loved and apparently is loved which makes us all grow well. I don't begrudge her it of course, good luck to her. But, see your kids go hungry and have to ask friends and family to help feed them while their father drinks the money away. See your children have opportunities in life only to be dashed by lack of funds for the same reason; be pushed to your limits of desparation as you cannot provide what you hoped your children would have, let alone their basic needs and decide that, by leaving the children would be picked up by the "system" and maybe by way of it have some chances - which they did. To be branded as the bad one all your life for leaving, to have your kids resent you and to have to be the perfect point of reference for blame when things went wrong for them. I made mistakes but my children came first always, that's why I left so they might have a chance. Love comes in different packages and who are those to tell us how we should love. julius10:21pm Thu 11 Mar
Totally self serving It seems the only reason Jane Moore made this documentary was to be able to confirm her own opinion in a shockingly unempathetic way. Mental illnes and PND was grudgingly given as a 'legitimate' reason for a mother to leave, but Ms Moore then went on to proclaim that in her opinion it was simply used as an excuse. Where exactly was the research and investigative journalism in this report? A very quick search on the internet reveals that one in ten women have PND, which can include bonding problems as one of its symptoms, feelings of inadequacy and that the child would be better off with someone else, not to mention suicide as one possible outcome. These very real issues were not just simply ignored, but then dismissed as a possible cause. You could not find a more one sided and biased programme if you tried. I'm disgusted. ChilliMK9:18pm Sat 22 Aug
Massive brushstrokes going on in this program, and what narrowminded views!! Not least that the woman always has more of a bond with the baby than the man! I'd have a baby if I was biologically equipped to do so... But since I'm not, why do I have to listen to this rubbish that a man isn't as bonded to a child as a woman, in any situation. It's all a bit too much like Loose Women really. ...8:15pm Sat 22 Aug
What a narrow minded view I myself have got to admit, with great difficultly that I am a mother who would be classed as 'abandening' her children. I watched this programme by quite an accident, I just so happened to click on it, but I am SO glad I did as at least it's made me realise that I'm not alone out there. Everyone's circumstances are different and 'yes' everyone is completely right in saying that it is an enormous thing for a mother to do. My particular circumstances were that of a childhood sweetheart relationship and marriage which went completely wrong. I wasn't physically attacked, but I was mentally and phycologically bullied by a man who is still doing it to me now. I didn't 'leave' my children, I was physically 'thrown' out of the marital home, with no money, no job, no support from friends and family and told that he would 'never' let me take 'his' children away. I still see my children all the time, I have them one weekend every fortnight, only because I now live 300 miles away, but I drive there and back and stay at my Mum's to do it. I also have them every school holidays. People should never make assumptions about anyone, I was on anti-depressants for about 3 years, I was grieving for my children. The good news is, I have now re-married to a wonderful man who is completely supportive of my situation and we have a beautiful daughter together, she is 15 months old. She will never and could never replace my other two children, whom she sees regularly too, but it she makes the pain more bearable.....and the answer to the most likely question....NO, I would never let anyone take her away......but I would never put myself in a situation again and would not have had another child to a man like my ex-husband again!! It is the kids who suffer....but no more than if they're in a single mother family! scapegoat10:45pm Tue 18 Aug
I'm completely confused... I agree with 'what utter rubbish' above. It's very easy for Jane Moore to be so judgemental. As a mother myself I was interested to watch this programme, as I can't imagine being away from my son, but not all these mothers featured have really 'abandoned' their children - one live next to the children's school and the first woman says she seems them regularly - isn't this just the same as what happens after divorce, ie you don't see your kids all the time. If any of these scenarios had been a man/father, it would just have been normal and no programme would have been made about that, I don't understand why that's different. Yes, the mother carries the baby and people assume there'll be a special bond, but there are two parents to every child, it does not have to be the mother that is the main parent. Really annoys me stuff like this. really annoyed11:22pm Wed 14 Jan
hmm there seems a lot of (assumed) females here rushing to try and excuse women who abandon their kids, if i tried to do the same for men id probably get shouted down by exatcly the same people. come on - men leave, that isnt right women leave, that isnt right either. dont start saying oh women only leave as they are abused my men etc im fed up with this feminist claptrap, my partner left me and went off with another guy, but now i seem to be classed as one of these feckless fathers who leave their kids. stop defending women who leave because they are women. dalio8:02pm Tue 29 Apr
What utter rubbish
Oh dear, what a travesty, and to think this woman writes for a national paper, no wonder people have such warped views nowadays.
Dwelling entirely on the aftermath of a decision to leave the children she considered barely at all the situations that lead up to that decision. Whilst it must be nice for Jane Moore to pontificate from her luxury town house with its Aga, large garden and her posh friends she poured nothing but scorn on Mothers who had had to make what must have been one of the most wretched decisions of their lives.
No thought to their being beaten, being bullied, being belittled or being forced from the home, the primary asset - no with a loving husband and no doubt even a nanny she just wrote these poor women off as selfish bitches - and all without even a hint of irony.
The poor thirty something woman seeking to track down her mother who left was given no room to speculate on legitimate reasons for her abandonment - but then i dont suppose it would serve Ms Moore's purpose to question the likelihood of her being the product of a rape, perhaps even paedophilic as the document time lines suggested.
Instead it was just all too easy to slag the mothers off; sure the guys who bring up kids on their own are hero's but then a zillion other mothers do that everyday without even a hint of applause. Yes for a mother to leave their kids IS extraordinary but that, in itself suggests that something rather more extraordinary was going on - instead of just some superficial nonsense of the type Moore explored.
Besides what Mother who has left her kids wants to then add to their discomfort by telling them their father was a wife-beating, womanising slob?
"Abandoned" child, much loved8:23am Fri 28 Mar
grossly simplified forgot to add. The ignorant woman forgot to point out the simplicity of her "conception" yesithurts11:06pm Thu 27 Mar
narrow minded, unjustified I agree: with motherhood a woman should blossom. As the psychologist stated, the mother needs support. A very, very badly edited by angle report on a female role development.
As stated very, very narrow and badly (bias) perspective yesithurts11:00pm Thu 27 Mar
reasons to leave i am the mother of a normal girl of 14 and a downs syndrome son of 11. i am seperated from their father and feel that once my son reaches 14 or 15 that his father should take some full time responsibility for him. i have a new partner who has for the last 5 yrs has treated my kids as his own why should we not leave the kids with their dad and live our life? i love my kids monumentally but there comes a point where u should live ur own life for the benifit of all. this prog seems to be aiming this prog at a specific group which is wrong t ambler10:19pm Thu 27 Mar
my daughter left her daughter I'm going throught the court at the moment for my granddaughter of 14 years old. It has affected my granddaughter she is a self harmer and in care right now. jacs14010:06pm Mon 24 Mar
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