How not to be a Dad: 6 terrible parenting tips we learned from Ross Marshall this week
Move over, Doctor Spock
Out-of-his-depth dad Ross Marshall struggled with teenage son Joel in this week’s EastEnders, as the lad’s already-troubling pattern of behaviour worsened. Upset at the news that his estranged mother is getting remarried, Joel acted out, spitting venom at all the women in his path.
As Ross tried to make Joel see sense afterwards, he only learned how bad his son has really gotten. Hapless Ross’s reaction was one for the books – if it were a book on how not to discipline a dangerously out-of-control teenage boy, that is.
Here are all the worst lessons we picked up from Ross’s parenting on EastEnders this week.
Parenting 101 with EastEnders’ Ross Marshall
1. Give the lad a beer
Ross and Vicki reached breaking point this week as Joel and Tommy attempted to steal booze from The Vic. When caught out, Joel reacted by describing Kat as a ‘slag,’ branding Vicki a ‘melt,’ and telling Stacey to go butter some baps (alright, that one was almost funny).
How did Ross react? By settling down on the sofa and sharing a couple of beers with his fifteen-year-old son. As he inadvertently played into Joel’s way of thinking with the whole don’t-tell-Vicki thing, he then joined the teenager in watching some of his favourite toxic influencer videos.
Ross was troubled by the nonsense redpiller Drake Zagan was spouting, but not clued-in enough to realise that this what had radicalised his son in the first place. It was only when he discovered the videos on Joel’s laptop that Ross grew really concerned…
2. Get up in his face and throw a tantrum
Ross was understandably disgusted by Joel’s collection of upskirting and stalking videos. Describing the lad as an ‘arrogant, disgusting pervert,’ he took the computer and chucked it under a running faucet. Joel joined Ross in turning on the waterworks, breaking down in tears as his dad ranted and raged.
“You think there’s something wrong with me?” Joel asked, in a rare moment of self-reflection.
“I think there’s something very wrong with you,” Ross snarled back, before stropping off to bed.
One doesn’t disagree with Ross’s summary of Joel’s mindset, but what did he actually achieve here? Any shame Joel might have felt was undone by Vicki then telling him that an apology to Kat would set things right (great communication from Ross there), while Ross’s flip-flopping the next day only confused Joel more.
The boy needs serious therapy, not name-calling.
Parenting 101 with EastEnders’ Ross Marshall continued:
3. Seek advice from the father of an imprisoned right-wing fanatic
The next day, Ross continued to dig his head into the sand. Rather than ignoring or paying off the problem as he previously had, he’d settled on giving Joel the cold shoulder for now.
His approach changed after a conversation with Harvey, who shared some words of wisdom on parenting a hateful young white boy. Now, there are some valuable lessons to be learned in Harvey’s case – like Joel, vulnerable Aaron was radicalised at a young age by online influencers and bad-faith actors.
And Harvey’s words did give Ross food for thought, helping him to realise that Joel does need help – not just screaming in his face and destroying his property, either. Unfortunately, Ross took all the worst lessons from his conversation with Harvey.
Ignoring the part where Harvey reported his own son to the police, Ross decided that maybe a spot of gentle parenting would do the trick instead.
4. Subtly agree with everything he’s saying
After his conversation with Harvey, Ross began to reconsider his position. Realising that he needed to talk to his son rather than pushing him away, Ross reconciled with Joel that afternoon.
Confronting Joel over how he’d spoken to Stacey, Ross pretty much admitted that he shared his son’s opinion of Lily. “There are certain things you just can’t say,” he told him, implying that the issue was with societal norms, rather than the things Joel actually felt or believed.
“You’re a good kid, Joel,” he said. “I get that it’s confusing. When I started out, women were flattered when you whistled at them. Now, on-site, it’s instant sacking.”
He continued: “But getting angry and calling people names is only ever going to get you in trouble.” Sure, the world could use a little-less name calling, but Ross’s advice tackles only the symptom and not the cause; the last thing Joel needs is an admission that he’s essentially right.
Flip-flopping Ross then informed Joel that he had his son’s back. And, to prove it, he’d even replaced the laptop he’d broken last night.
Parenting 101 with EastEnders’ Ross Marshall continued:
5. Wildly course-correct!
Just like the beers, Ross’s attempt at building trust with his son came in the form of a gift. He’d gotten him a new laptop, to go with the promise that he’d be allowed to attend Walford High when the school year rolled around again.
All he wanted in return? A promise of ‘no more influencers, no more filming.’ Destroying the laptop had been a bad move, but buying him a new one was an even worse one. Especially as he’d literally only just watched Joel square up to Stacey, mere hours (minutes?) beforehand.
We’ll say it again for the back: that boy needs therapy, not a new computer!
6. Who needs parental controls?
Once again proving Joel’s views on gender relations to be correct, Ross bought Joel his new laptop without consulting Vicki – going over her head after she’d already told Joel that a new computer wasn’t on the cards.
And, after making Joel promise to be a good boy, Ross left the lad alone with his brand new toy. No other boundaries; no monitoring or supervision; Ross didn’t so much as set limits on Joel’s time with the device before leaving him alone for more screentime.
Ross might not strike us a very tech-savvy kind of guy, but did he even consider setting up some kind of Parental Controls on the computer? Nope. And the very first thing Joel did with his shiny new women-harrassment device? Go and harass a woman online.
