Vaginismus explained as Virgin Island season 2 star Joy admits she thought God 'cursed her' with the condition
Season 2 cast member Joy had a very religious upbringing
Virgin Island returns tonight (April 27), and viewers will see newcomer Joy share details of her battle with vaginismus – but what exactly is the condition?
22-year-old Joy – one of the season 2 participants – has vaginismus. It’s a condition that’s often misunderstood, rarely talked about openly and can have a huge impact on someone’s life.
Speaking about the condition on the first episode of the show, Joy – who was brought up as a strict Christian – admitted: “At one point I thought God cursed me with vaginismus, I thought he did it to me to stop me from having sex.”
What is vaginismus as Joy shares her experience on Virgin Island
Vaginismus is a condition where the muscles around the vagina tighten involuntarily whenever penetration is attempted. According to the NHS, this tightening isn’t something a person can control – it’s an automatic response.
That means anything involving penetration, including sex, inserting a tampon or even a medical examination, can be difficult or impossible.
It’s important to be clear: vaginismus isn’t about “not wanting” sex. It’s a physical reaction, often linked to anxiety, fear or past experiences, but sometimes occurring without a clear cause at all.
How the Virgin Island experts help Joy
Virgin Island star Joy is open about her condition on the show. During the first couple of episodes, the team of experts are seen helping Joy to let go of her inner tension, and experience pleasure, something she has held back on since a childhood ‘lesson’ from her youth pastor.
Joy shares: “When I was 12 I told my youth pastor that I’d this realisation I’d been masturbating. I went to Christian camp and there was this call to come to the front for prayer for sexual sin. I felt convicted. Oh my gosh they’re speaking about me. I’ve sinned.
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“I told my youth pastor and then she staged an intervention. So yeah, it stuck with me,” said Joy, explaining where she thinks her experience with vaginosis stemmed from.
“It’s been hard to get that out of my head and I want to be free to explore my sexual side of myself. I want to enjoy my life and accept myself.”
How painful is vaginismus?
The level of pain can vary, but for many people it’s significant.
Some describe it as a burning or stinging sensation, while others experience sharp pain or a feeling of “hitting a wall” when penetration is attempted. In more severe cases, penetration simply isn’t possible.
The NHS notes that the anticipation of pain can make the muscles tighten even more, creating a cycle where fear and physical reaction reinforce each other.
That’s why it’s not “just discomfort” – it can be distressing, frustrating and emotionally exhausting, particularly in the context of relationships.
What causes it?
There isn’t always a single cause, but it’s often linked to a mix of physical and psychological factors.
Common triggers include:
- Anxiety about sex or penetration
- Fear of pain
- Previous negative or traumatic experiences
- Cultural or religious messaging around sex
- Medical issues or past infections
In some cases, it can happen without any obvious trigger at all – which can make it even more confusing for those experiencing it.
Can it be cured?
The good news is that vaginismus is treatable – and many people recover fully with the right support. In fact, Joy is seen in episode 2 experiencing pleasure, admitting she finds touching herself under the guidance of an expert “arousing”.
According to the NHS, treatment usually focuses on gradually helping the body and mind feel safe with penetration. This can include:
- Pelvic floor exercises to learn how to control and relax the muscles
- Vaginal trainers (dilators), used step-by-step to gently get the body used to penetration
- Talking therapies, such as counselling or sex therapy, to address anxiety or fear
- Education and guided exercises to build confidence and understanding
Treatment is typically gradual and done at the person’s own pace. There’s no “quick fix” but, as Joy shows during the launch episodes of Virgin Island, progress is very possible.
What Joy hopes to get out of Virgin Island
Speaking ahead of the show, Joy shared: “I told my friends there was no way I’d go through with it. But watching Series 1 really changed my mind.
“Despite having a vaginismus diagnosis for years, I had only made minimal progress and was starting to lose hope of ever being healed. Deep down, I think I knew I needed the expert help and was just hiding behind the humour of it all.”
She added: “The biggest challenge for me was battling feelings of shame throughout the retreat, which were almost debilitating at times. The purity culture I was raised in does not allow for sexual experiences outside of the heterosexual marriage mould (even if the end goal of that exploration is primarily to insert a tampon).
“I am so grateful for the other contributors, for [expert] Ilil’s therapeutic approach and for the attentive welfare team, all helping me feel supported and safe as I navigated this sensitive issue.”
Read more: Virgin Island filming location revealed and how you can stay at the resort for £97 per night
