Channel 4 Saturday

Sam lies to Diane about his plans for a weekend away, and Norm starts spending all his time with a new friend, leaving Cliff feeling neglected

Coach is upset about the death of an old baseball buddy and holds a memorial to him in the bar, but then discovers the man once propositioned his wife. Nicholas Colasanto stars

Norm is cajoled into pursuing an attractive new client who seems to be interested in him, but ends up realising how much he appreciates his wife. Comedy, starring George Wendt

Ray becomes envious of Robert's good looks and decides the time has come to get a head-to-toe makeover, complete with fake tan. Ray Romano stars

Debra learns the second-hand car she bought from Marie and Frank was once the scene of an amorous encounter for a teenage Ray

Part one of two. A bout of back pain prompts Frasier to begin taking strong medication - which dulls his senses and causes him to accidentally reveal a long-held secret to Daphne

Part two of two. Niles clashes with girlfriend Mel over a misunderstanding, Daphne picks up the wrong signals, and friends are thin on the ground at Frasier's Christmas party

The Cranes take a trip in the Winnebago on New Year's Eve, but a case of mistaken identity leaves Frasier and Martin trying to rescue Niles from another family's van

Homer enters Lisa in a beauty pageant to boost her self-esteem - but she finds her principles heavily compromised as a result. Featuring the voice of Bob Hope

Trilogy of spooky stories. A murderous Krusty doll terrorises Homer, Mr Burns tries to capture a giant ape and Bart's attempt to resurrect the family's dead cat goes wrong

Lisa meets a fellow horse-lover, but then falls in with a circle of snooty girls, while Homer takes Marge on a romantic cruise

After Santa's Little Helper bites Marge, the Simpsons explore the tragic past of their family dog

In Sheffield, professional chefs at Sicilian restaurant Bella Donna, American smokehouse Backyard BBQ, and Mexican restaurant Piña battle it out for a £1,000 prize

The competition begins at The Firs in Perthshire, where the B&Bers visit a local castle, and low cleanliness scores prove a particularly sticky point for the hosts

Diogo and Rafael host the second visit of the week at The National Hotel in Ross-Shire, where they're hoping their traditional Scottish touches will impress their guests

Janie and Paul host the third visit of the week at The Black Bull Inn in Dumfries and Galloway where the guests enjoy the deluxe touches but a lavatory let down causes concern

At Morag and Jonny's Braeview Glamping in Berwickshire, a day out on the railway sees a head of steam building up beneath the guests' smiles as the tension of payment day looms

Payment day promises to be a feisty affair. Cleanliness standards have been questioned throughout, and the B&Bers seem set to fight dirty when the debate starts

Vets at Chester Zoo treat an elephant calf for the herpes virus, and the humboldt penguins welcome 16 new members to their colony

Zoologist and conservationist Iain Douglas-Hamilton looks back on his life documenting the behaviour of African elephants in the wild and campaigning against the ivory trade

Claudia Winkleman, Mika, Jon Batiste and Mika's dog Sharkey gather at Newcastle Station to judge performances by a romantic tram driver and a teenager who hits all the right notes

Including sport and weather

Part two of two. New Zealand's Northern Explorer scenic rail journey, which starts in the country's largest city, Auckland, and ends at the capital Wellington, 420 miles away

On the final leg of their journey, David Baddiel and Hugh Dennis head to the Mediterranean port of Le Somail and take a boat ride along the Canal du Midi

June tries to settle in a new community, while Serena seeks a sanctuary. Luke and Moira take a big risk. Starring Elizabeth Moss and Yvonne Strahovski

The secret agent team is falsely implicated in a bombing, and pursues the real terrorist around the globe. Action adventure sequel, starring Tom Cruise and Jeremy Renner

A repairman salvaging resources from a devastated future Earth discovers a secret that threatens the human race. Sci-fi adventure, starring Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman

Jack Russell cross pugs Millie and Max, a little pooch called Rex, a 13-week-old Jack Russell puppy called Albie and 'escape artist' Lily the beagle seek new homes

The second series of the documentary following a family-run shop in the Lake District begins with a farmer based in Kirkby Lonsdale with big plans for sheep's milk brie

Homer enters Lisa in a beauty pageant to boost her self-esteem - but she finds her principles heavily compromised as a result. Featuring the voice of Bob Hope

Trilogy of spooky stories. A murderous Krusty doll terrorises Homer, Mr Burns tries to capture a giant ape and Bart's attempt to resurrect the family's dead cat goes wrong

Lisa meets a fellow horse-lover, but then falls in with a circle of snooty girls, while Homer takes Marge on a romantic cruise

After Santa's Little Helper bites Marge, the Simpsons explore the tragic past of their family dog

Part one of two. Sam commissions a portrait of Diane, but the artist turns out to be so obnoxious that he forbids her to pose for him. Guest starring Christopher Lloyd

Part two of two. The pretentious Semenko begins to paint Diane, but Sam despises the artist so much that he soon orders Diane to stop posing for him