Channel 4 Saturday

Deacon and Kelly agree to babysit for Arthur, but fail to heed Carrie and Doug's warning about the perils of spicy food

Carrie befriends Doug's ex-girlfriend against his wishes, and Spence agrees to go on a date with a man to boost his morale. Guest starring Janeane Garofalo

Doug goes into hospital to have his appendix removed - but while sedated, he unwittingly reveals a catalogue of sexual fantasies, none of which involve Carrie

Arthur sells his burial plot to Spence's mother. Doug is unnerved by a customer's tendency to answer the door half-naked, and Carrie gets a new job as a dog walker

As a challenge, Ray writes a moving eulogy for Frank - despite the obvious fact he is still alive. Ray Romano and Peter Boyle star

Ray thinks something is wrong when he has a miserable night with his friends, but an invitation to join Frank for a steam bath restores his spirits

Ray and Debra give Robert $1,000 to help him out of dire financial straits - but he takes advantage of their generosity by jetting off for a holiday in Las Vegas

Action from the battle for sprint race positions in the fifth round of the season, held at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in Montreal

Eddie appears depressed, so Martin enlists the aid of a dog psychiatrist to determine the root of his misery. Comedy, starring John Mahoney

A spontaneous gesture lands the Crane brothers a double date with two beautiful women. Comedy, guest starring Megan Mullally and Lisa Darr

Niles throws a house-warming party - but his new pet cockatoo threatens to spoil the festivities by clinging firmly to the top of his head

Bart begins spying on the neighbours while recovering from an injury, and becomes convinced Ned Flanders has murdered his wife

Mr Burns opens a casino in Springfield, and before long Marge is bitten by the gambling bug - much to her family's dismay. With the guest voices of Gerry Cooney and Robert Goulet

Nasa decides to send an average American into space as a publicity stunt - and Homer is the chosen candidate. With the guest voices of Buzz Aldrin and James Taylor

Sideshow Bob is pardoned for his crimes and decides to run for office. Featuring the guest voice of Kelsey Grammer

This week's competition kicks off at Rosaire Guest House in Llandudno, where host Jo and her mum Pat are going for a home-from-home vibe

Rachel and Liam host the second visit of the week at The Queens Hotel in Harlech. Liam is hoping to impress with his impersonations but an issue in the bathroom causes problems

Mat and Helen host the third visit of the week at The Mill at Glynhir in Llandybie, Carmarthenshire. Guests struggle to find faults until Pat investigates the bathroom

The week's final visit is to Hideaway Escapes in Pembrokeshire, where sisters Lesley and Sarah are looking to inject a bit of colour into everyone's lives

With facility failings, bathroom blues and even one set of B&Bers refusing to even try out one of their rivals' rooms all on the agenda, Payment Day is set to be a feisty occasion

Jamie Oliver cooks his ultimate barbecue breakfast, a smoke-kissed sesame chicken burger, a veggie barbecue platter and his surf 'n' turf mixed grill

Turtle brothers Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo and Raphael set out to win the hearts of New Yorkers. Animated fantasy, with the voice of Nicolas Cantu

Including sport and weather

The steam engine Tornado travels from Levisham station to the market town of Pickering. With the season in full swing, disaster strikes as a giant wildfire jeopardises the service

The most hidden and remote hotels on the planet

Former government assassin Robert McCall takes on the mafia in southern Italy. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning

A vulcanologist suspects a long-dormant volcano is about to erupt and races to save a nearby town from destruction. Disaster movie, starring Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton

Action from the sprint race and the battle for grid positions for the main race in the fifth round of the season, held at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in Montreal

Gordon Ramsay heads to Miami, Florida, to help a couple who bought a Danish restaurant eight years ago but started losing money rapidly

Alison Hammond hosts the final performance at London's Hackney Empire. Sam Ryder and Paloma Faith must choose one of the acts as the performance of the night

Bart begins spying on the neighbours while recovering from an injury, and becomes convinced Ned Flanders has murdered his wife

Mr Burns opens a casino in Springfield, and before long Marge is bitten by the gambling bug - much to her family's dismay. With the guest voices of Gerry Cooney and Robert Goulet

Nasa decides to send an average American into space as a publicity stunt - and Homer is the chosen candidate. With the guest voices of Buzz Aldrin and James Taylor

Deacon unwittingly befriends Doug's school arch-enemy. Jon Favreau guest stars

Carrie persuades Deacon and Kelly to go with her to see Doug's parents in Florida - but plans for a perfect holiday are ruined