U&Gold Wednesday

A chance to buy goods from the comfort of home

Martin and Ann invite Paul and his new girlfriend to dinner, but no one expects his estranged wife to turn up too. Richard Briers stars

The inmates of Slade Prison are given time to pursue their hobbies, but Fletcher's bid to find a little peace and quiet seems destined to fail

Marlene and the staff sense an opportunity when the Antiques Roadshow arrives in Ludlow, but it turns out to be Boycie who discovers an item that is truly valuable

The gang visits 10 Downing Street - where Mrs Slocombe gets a chance to demonstrate that Britain has women even more formidable than Mrs Thatcher

Seymour vows that the days of Edie carrying a dustbin are over, and promises to install a waste disposal unit for her. Rural comedy, starring Michael Aldridge

Seymour gallantly volunteers to help teach Edie to drive. However, because he is unable to control a vehicle himself, he needs a qualified motorist to join them

The inmates of Slade Prison are given time to pursue their hobbies, but Fletcher's bid to find a little peace and quiet seems destined to fail

Hyacinth prepares for the Mayor's annual fancy-dress ball, only to have her dream of wearing a regal costume shattered

Marlene and the staff sense an opportunity when the Antiques Roadshow arrives in Ludlow, but it turns out to be Boycie who discovers an item that is truly valuable

Capt Mainwaring and the platoon offer to help Pte Godfrey's widowed friend gather in the harvest on her farm - but their well-meaning efforts end in predictable chaos

Martin and Ann invite Paul and his new girlfriend to dinner, but no one expects his estranged wife to turn up too. Richard Briers stars

The gang visits 10 Downing Street - where Mrs Slocombe gets a chance to demonstrate that Britain has women even more formidable than Mrs Thatcher

The crew members answer a distress call from a trio of attractive women, and android Kryten is far more enthusiastic about the arrival of the rescue team than the female crew

The crew members plug themselves into a computer game to play in a virtual world and live out their fantasies, but Rimmer's twisted mind fouls things for everyone

Capt Mainwaring and the platoon offer to help Pte Godfrey's widowed friend gather in the harvest on her farm - but their well-meaning efforts end in predictable chaos

Seymour vows that the days of Edie carrying a dustbin are over, and promises to install a waste disposal unit for her. Rural comedy, starring Michael Aldridge

Seymour gallantly volunteers to help teach Edie to drive. However, because he is unable to control a vehicle himself, he needs a qualified motorist to join them

Hyacinth prepares for the Mayor's annual fancy-dress ball, only to have her dream of wearing a regal costume shattered

Corporal Jones misplaces £500 donated by local shopkeepers to provide a new canteen for servicemen, so the platoon tries to help him remember where he put it

The crew members answer a distress call from a trio of attractive women, and android Kryten is far more enthusiastic about the arrival of the rescue team than the female crew

The crew members plug themselves into a computer game to play in a virtual world and live out their fantasies, but Rimmer's twisted mind fouls things for everyone

Lucy needs help writing a speech, so Tim and Lee both volunteer their services - and the task turns into a fierce competition to discover who can come up with the wittiest lines

The crew members wake up to the realisation their memories have been erased, and to make matters worse, someone has completed Lister's jigsaw

A leak from the suspended animation chamber gives the crew a doorway to the past, prompting Lister to race to save lost love Kochanski's life, much to Rimmer's fury

Martin Clunes stars in the period drama version of The Terminator and Mr Cholmondeley-Warner presents a few handy hints on self defence

Lucy needs help writing a speech, so Tim and Lee both volunteer their services - and the task turns into a fierce competition to discover who can come up with the wittiest lines

Dermot offers his body and Gary fixes up a burglar alarm in forlorn efforts to impress Deborah

Martin Clunes stars in the period drama version of The Terminator and Mr Cholmondeley-Warner presents a few handy hints on self defence

Dermot offers his body and Gary fixes up a burglar alarm in forlorn efforts to impress Deborah

Trevor has decided to work for a mission project in Africa, so Agnes resolves to give him an unforgettable send-off, while Cathy's family counselling session descends into chaos

Peggy's piano skills upset Ted's delicate musical ear, so he makes moves to improve matters. Comedy, starring Paul Shane, Kenneth Connor and Ruth Madoc

A chance to buy goods from the comfort of home

A chance to buy goods from the comfort of home